Defining (A Distinct) FemDom
Credit for the topic here goes to Natasha Strange of kittenwithawhip, who started a blogging project themed as “FemDom Society” (no not that one!) I’m not in the official roster, but I thought I would...
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8 Things He Does When He’s Only Ever Been With Pro Dommes Before You
Sex work is normal, and more than normal, healthy. It’s important any piece about sex work acknowledge this fact explicitly: remuneration for the erotic is a perfectly reasonable thing. It might take...
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More On Lifestyle Only Femdom Invisibility
You have definitely heard me talk about this before (CN: whorearchy talk), but one of the biggest issues with the contrasting experience and norms of professional femdom VS lifestyle only femdom is...
View ArticleBDSM Belongs At Pride
It’s smug kind of “I told you so” that this year the conversation has turned from an almost kink critical “they can’t consent to that” to a reminder that we very much belong. When I bashed out the...
View ArticleConfessions of a Sadistic Femdom
All my pain games with my partners, my denial, teasing and so forth are pursuing a very particular outcome. Because it turns me on and makes me feel deeply connected to my so called victim. It is not a...
View ArticleThe Trauma Of Telling The Truth
As you know, health issues have been a core part of the sporadic hiatus, and emotional well being is part of them. It’s something I am a bit sad and sheepish about. In my happiest D/s relationship,...
View ArticleFemdom & The Whole Rest of the Boy
Heterosexual femdom is weird. It’s not colouring between the cis straight lines, but it’s going to get you even more side eye if you call yourself queer than a bisexual woman with a boyfriend does. I...
View ArticleOn Unavoidable Messy Representation & The Closet
A little while back, a judge in the US was caught and fired for engaging in sexwork. Specifically, he made gay porn – and the booting overlapped with a period where he was critical of anti-trans...
View ArticleThe No-Needs True Sub Is A Nonsense Concept
If you spend any length of time in the femdom side of the internet, you are going to encounter some version of this idea: “Femdom is about female power. If you were truly submissive, all those other...
View ArticleLifestyle Only Femdom Blues
I wish I could say I am a dominant without people assuming I am a pro (or a man), but I would also like that not to be at the expense of anyone else. To be a lifestyle only domme is, for the most part,...
View ArticleA Reminder the Theory of a “Femdom Ratio” Is Still Garbage
Not all sub men. Not all single, lonely sub men. But sure as the seasons shift through the front end of summer into the sultry, soup-warm of August, some chucklefuck is back at it in an online kink...
View ArticleKinky, Queer, Feminist and Poly Dracula, and It’s (Mis)readings
Ah, Dracula. Published in 1897 by horror and fantasy writer, reviewer and theater manager, it occupies a space as the most well known vampire story, and also so incredibly copied and adapted that while...
View Article“Just do whatever the dominant wants” is a bad way to (exclusively) define...
(Brace yourself, I am being very verbose.) I think, as a community, we haven’t fully grappled with the fact that the roles of dominant and submissive are not always perfect puzzle pieces/mirrors of...
View ArticleAsexuality Is Complicated (And for me, particularly)
Most people tend to conceive of labels as tidy little jars, even if much work has gone in the other direction to point out that there’s spectrums. Enbies, bi people, even switches are no exception,...
View ArticleOn Having Porn For Dommes
It has been true for the entire lifetime of this blog that fictional depictions of dominant women are really limited, and most typically tailored to what subs are attracted to. Or being more precise,...
View ArticleWhat To Do With The Under 18 Kinky People?
I’m going to talk about an elephant in the room, or precisely speaking an elephant that, while left out of the room, still requires addressing. This particular piece, I think will also distress and...
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